


Stuck

by TheNights



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Humour, Kinda Crack, M/M, Oh yea, all rom-relationships are implied really, if i'm honest, in a ways, kinda like, or - Freeform, puns, shout out to my Uni vending machines, the bit before the relationship, the flirt?, vending machines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:32:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7347121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNights/pseuds/TheNights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanzo had seen a lot since he first hesitantly joined Overwatch. Time-jumping heroes, scientist apes, people who could heal through share music……<br/>It was all bizarre at times, and a bit overwhelming if he were to admit it. </p><p>However this…</p><p>-----</p><p>A humourous one shot starring McCree and Hanzo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stuck

**Author's Note:**

> Oh wow. A fic? from me? *sweaty palms* oh man, okay. So I'm really nervous haha. I haven't written in months and I chose to dive off into the deep end by doing a totally new fandom. I also wrote this in one day. ONE DAY. I have another fic that's not finished, that I started over a year ago!
> 
> Please enjoy. I really wanted to contribute to the Overwatch fandom and, particularly, the McHanzo ship. Shout out to the McHanzo's United Discord chat room. You guys really inspired me to get back into fic writing. 
> 
> Also I did proof read, but I kept spelling Hanzo as 'Hanzoo' and I'm paranoid I missed one haha.

Hanzo had seen a lot since he first hesitantly joined Overwatch. Time-jumping heroes, scientist apes, people who could heal through share music…… 

It was all bizarre at times, and a bit overwhelming if he were to admit it. 

However this…

'What are you doing?'

This was something else. 

“Oh hey there partner” said McCree, sounding far to happy for someone with half their face smashed up against plastic. 

Hanzo thought about leaving, turning around and not getting involved. He thought about it long and hard. He sighed. 

'McCree, what are you doing?' This time, it came out more irritated.

'Been staring at these snacks all last meetin'' replied McCree, grunting as he stretched his arm as he could. He was shoulder deep into the dining/meeting rooms resident vending machine, but Hanzo could see he could only just tap the packet the cowboy was reaching for. 'Haven't had these in years, not since they put 'em out of production'. A testament to how long the vending machine had been in this abandoned building lot the current Overwatch members were based at for the current mission.

Hanzo, despite himself, stepped closer to peer through the clear plastic. '… Dunkaroos?'

McCree grinned up at him 'A classic darlin'' he said with a wink. 

Hanzo quickly looked away, feeling heat creep up his neck 'Why did you not simply buy it?' 

'Dun have any coin' mumbled McCree, renewing his efforts to grab the snack. His signature hat now sat sideways on his head, pushed off when McCree had pressed his face to the plastic and only held up by his shoulder. Hanzo watched, slightly amused by the useless flailing of McCree's robotic arm inside the machine 'Doubt it still works anyway, machine's been 'ere that long' 

'Then you should have broken the glass' 

McCree squinted up at him 'You'd be surprised how hard it is to break this stuff and I wasn't gonna waste bullets on it' 

Hanzo stared, unimpressed. 

'plus' McCree admitted 'Used to do this all the time as a kid, wanted to test out the ol' skills' 

'You are much bigger now'

'In more ways than one'

Hanzo was really starting to hate that smirk, directed at him far to often for his liking and always following after comments like that. He also never knew what to say in reply.

Thankfully, McCree talked enough for the both of them.

'Hopin' arm length might be on mah side this time' carried on McCree 'I almost have it'

Hanzo raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and leaning lightly on the machine, eyes flickering between the arm inside and McCree's rapidly reddening face as he strained for the snack. Hanzo's eyes followed the redness as it covered McCree's face. His tongue was poking out slightly and eyebrows knitted together in concentration. He snarled and Hanzo caught sight of those sharp canines and unconsciously shifted his weight, feeling warm. 

McCree cursed and hearing someone else snapped Hanzo out of his daydream, realising he'd been staring. He hurriedly stood up straight, brushing off the minor dust off his clothes from the vending machine.

'Remove your arm'

McCree blinked at him 'huh?'. With his hat tilted like that and eyes opened wide, Hanzo was tempted to call him cute.

Hanzo almost smiled. 

'Remove your arm, and I shall attempt to pick the lock in the back' 

McCree stared for a moment then slowly let loose a grin. 'Now we're talkin partner' he cackled, hurrying to stand. 

However, instead of his arm sliding out, there was a bang as McCree's robotic arm got caught on the grate, specifically made to deter this kind of behaviour, and his face was reintroduced to the vending machines weird glass/plastic with a smack. 

There was silence for a moment. 

'Are… are you stuck?' asked Hanzo

'No' said McCree quickly, yanking his arm again and only succeeded in making a horrible metal on metal screeching sound. They both peered inside the machine, looking down on the plate of metal from McCree's arm that had hooked on the other side of the protective grate, effectively trapping his arm in.

'…...Should've used meh other arm' 

Hanzo couldn't help it. He made a choked off sound, turning his face away and covering his mouth. 

'What? Are you laughing? Yer laughing!'

'Don't be ridiculous' muttered Hanzo, lips still twitching as he fought off smiling. 

'Aw come on, it's just ol' McCree here, you can show me. Promise won't tell. Wouldn't ruin yer 'ole 'mysterious' vibe' 

'Be quiet'

McCree just grinned, unphased by Hanzo gruffness and that appealed to Hanzo more than it should have. He huffed, looking instead to shuffle the machine forward enough to get at the machine lock. 

'Sure thing partner, however before ya start yer lock pickin…' 

Hanzo turned back to McCree, narrowing his eyes at the faux innocent smile directed at him. 

'Get the Dunkaroos for me darlin'?' 

Hanzo's answer was instant 'No'

He was unfazed by the whine that was met with. 

'Aw come on sweetheart, who knows how long you'll take and I'm hungry' 

'A just punishment for your thieving some would think'

'Getting my arm stuck wasn't enough?' replied McCree, shaking his arm and making Hanzo clench his teeth as the shriek of metal filled the air again. 

'No' 

'Haaaaaaanzoooooo'

Hanzo was tempted to just leave, eyebrow twitching as McCree's whining escalated, but he was certain McCree would holler down the whole building just to spite him at this point, Dangaroos or not. 

'Shut up!' he finally snapped, as McCree's cries finally reached a level loud enough to attract others who might be nearby. He dropped to his knees and shoved his arm into the vending machine, grimacing as his face met the cool plastic/glass. He ignored McCree's curse as he jostled the others arm, feeling a little vengeful at this point. 

Slapping McCree's hand out the way (and smirking to himself when he heard McCree grumble), he attempted to reach for the snack that had started this whole mess. His arm did have a slightly shorter reach than McCree, but he also had the advantage of not having shoulder padding and a non-metal arm, that was far more flexible. He ended up pressed closer to the machine, glad he'd used his covered arm so that his bare skin wasn't pressed up against the machine that much. There was a slight stickiness to the surface that made his lip curl. 

His managed to pinch the corner of the snack and, with McCree excited cheering, carefully pulled it free. It was hanging precariously from his finger tips and a quick flick had it securely in his palm. 

McCree let loose a 'whoop' and laugh 'Nice work there partner' he said, clenching a fist in Hanzo's robe. Hanzo blinked and realised McCree had grabbed onto his clothes while he was distracted by his target. The cloth there was now pulled taunt on his chest and if the cowboy twisted his wrist right, his knuckles would brush the bare skin just under exposed nipple. 

Hanzo felt his neck and ears burn hotter than before and, in a distinctly similar fashion to McCree earlier, went to stand in a rush. 

There was a screech of metal again and this time it was Hanzo who fell into the vending machine again and had his face smashed into the plastic pane. 

There was a beat of silence as McCree stared at him and Hanzo stared back. As one, they turned to look inside the vending machine. 

The Dunkaroo had been dropped and who knows where it went. More importantly though, Hanzo's gauntlet had snagged on the coils that made up an empty product row. While he'd twisted his wrist around, it'd slowly spun itself between his robe and the gauntlet. Now, when he'd yanked his arm, it had only yanked the coil in deeper and effectively created a fishhook he was struggling to lift himself from. 

McCree didn't speak up until Hanzo had exhausted himself from trying to get free. 

'Well…..this is a bit of a pickle, ain't it partner?' he said, far to cheerful for Hanzo's taste. He slowly turned towards the cowboy. 

'Bit of a jam we're in' laughed McCree, wiggling his arm and acting as if Hanzo wasn't ticking from annoyed to murderous. 

'It was nice though that you hung 'round to help meh' 

Hanzo tensed. 

'Though we still didn't get mah Dunkaroos and to be honest….' McCree drawled, eyes glinting and Hanzo's let out a warning 'McCree...', which made the man smirk more.

'It's soda-pressing'

Hanzo lunged. 

\-----

Jack, or Soldier 76 as he was known as these day, snapped his head up as a crash and shouting came from down the hallway. Fast on the draw as always, he was out of his chair and barrelling down to the source of the noise in seconds. There was a flash of blue and Tracer zipped by him, disappearing into the room he was heading for. 

'Don't worry luv the cavalries- huh?'

Jack heard quiet and then, Tracer's tell tale peel of laughter and hurried into the room, gun raised. He blinked at what he saw, gun dropping slightly. 

The archer, Hanzo, was bellowing something in japanese and one handedly striking at McCree rather violently, who was nearly flat on the ground, laughing. McCree had a leg up between him and Hanzo as a shield of some sort, one hand protecting him from Hanzo's fury. They were both pressed up against the old vending machine in the room. 

'What the-?'

And then Jack saw two familiar arms inside the vending machine, both stiffly held in a particular way that said 'help me'. 

Without another word, Jack turned on heel and marched out of the room, Tracer and McCree's laughter following him, along side Hanzo's furious rant. 

He should have taken up that mission in Russia instead.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh I hope I got the personalities on the right track. McCree was hard enough with his accent and all. Tricky Cowboy.
> 
> Please drop a kudo or a comment if you can! Thanks for reading :D  
> Sorry if the format was weird too. I generally write my fics spaced out by how they'll look on a phone haha.


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